Flag Waving

We can still celebrate St George’s Day, Don, of course, if we’re not offensive about it, though we must pay respect to other heroes that have also contributed to our rich and diverse heritage. So we should respect Saints Patrick, David, and Andrew, of course, but let’s not forget we now have Mandela Day, Diana Day, Trafalgar Day, Gaia Day, St Sebastian’s Day, and many other new festivals that celebrate our rich culture and tradition. Of course, at present, our productivity glitch means that we can’t actually grant any more state holidays. We don’t want to end up like France and Italy. Sloth, I’m afraid, is still one of our national vices, despite the educational projects we’ve set up with OfWealth.

I think what you’re worried about, Don, is waving the St George flag. We can’t really allow that as this once-proud emblem has been hijacked by Fascists. And telling the old story about the Saracen—we do have to be careful there. But we do have the wonderful New Union Flag, with its black, pink, purple, and green areas to show the inclusiveness of diversity and our dependence on the environment. I can’t help shedding a few little tears every time I look at it.

As you know, the new flag came out of a competition in schools throughout the NUK after consulting focus groups. Some designs had to be rejected, good as they were, as we wanted our new corporate identity to have some continuity with the old and also to avoid clutter and illegibility, of course. The New United Kingdom is such a wonderfully diverse society—think of all those marvellous street markets and the exciting new vegetables we can buy. But we simply couldn’t fit everybody’s identity in, I’m afraid. We had suggestions for the woman’s symbol, the Welsh and Chinese dragons, Diana’s face. The Islamic crescent—well, in present circumstances some groups unfortunately might have been offended. We had recommendations from the Cypriot community, Latvian guest workers, Wiccans—all these had to be turned down. Though we truly are living in a New Union these days—no-one is excluded from society and the flag welcomes everybody. So this is one flag you can wave with pride, Don!